The Nakhon Sawan Report
2006/02/01
Spent a lazy day in Khon Kaen getting the bike serviced and the laundry done. And then went... west? east? south? back north????
South to Buriram. The target being Phanom Rung, a marvelous Angkor style temple and promenade atop an old volcano rising up from flat farm land.
But I've had enough of the flat lands now. There are hints of tedium coming in, and that just ain't right. Wedged against the west border of Thailand is a small town called Umphang. South of Umphang are a couple of small villages, but that's it. The road just doesn't go beyond that point. It's an outpost and as far as you can go down that way. The whole area around there is vigorous mountain country. The road in to Umphang is nicknamed "the Death Highway". It acquired the name from being built during battles with communist insurgent guerillas in the area. Apparently the name persists today due to the number of accidents on the treacherously steep, curvey and narrow road. Now I don't know about you, but that sounds like brilliant riding country to my ears. However, that's not how I'm going to try to get there. To the east is a national park with a zigzagging road up to its high peak. On the map, that park road proceeds a little past the peak pointing west towards Umphang and then stops. I've seen a military map of Umphang that shows a little road heading east from town, and then stopping. Hmmm... It's important to have a mission, and mine is to see if perhaps those two roads can't be made to join up. That's tomorrow's quest. I'm expecting to have a great and troublesome day.
So I bailed from Isaan, headed west to Chaiyaphum, and today, west again to Nakhon Sawan. Went through some windy roads and over green hills today. I like this after the flat brown of the last few days. It's like riding in the Kootenays after being on the prairies for too long. Nakhon Sawan is another fair sized Thai city that has no mention whatsoever in the Lonely Plant guide. I found a place to stay down a narrow alley off one of the main streets. I thought it might be a hotel, but after they found someone who could speak English with me, I was told it was a controlled apartment complex. After a bit more talking they decided I could have one of the empty units (sparsely furnished, but with bed, air-con, bathroom and balcony) for the night. This is great. It feels much better than a hotel room.
I dropped some clothes at the local laundry, grabbed some street soup, and went hunting for an Internet cafe. Here's how things typically work. There are 4 women sitting around the desk of a local restaurant that has no customers (it's an evening sort of haunt). I greet them and show them the part of my magic translation book (my most important possession) that refers to internet and email. The one who speaks a bit of halting English knows where it is but says it is far. I say perhaps I should take a motorcycle taxi. She says yes, please wait here. She goes around back of the shop, grabs her scooter, takes off down the street, and comes back about 5 minutes later with a motorcyle taxi guy. She explains in detail to him where I need to go, negotiates the price with him, and I'm off.
This sort of generosity happens all the time. For another example, I once took a series of wrong turns and ended up in a bunch of dead ends towards the back of a town I stopped for gas in. (You are in a series of small twisty passages, all the same.) A parking attendant at an exercise spa who spoke no English jumped on this most delightfully ornate old bicycle, signalled me to follow, and brought me through a bunch of back alleys to a quiet lovely house. He knocked on the door and out came the local farang (caucasian) English teacher who proceeded to tell me how to get back to the highway. The smartly uniformed guard peddled his way back to his post while the teacher invited me in for tea.
But my story got sidetracked... ...So I'm in Nakhon Sawan but the internet shop is full of young munchkins playing video games. The guy says come back in half an hour so I walk up the road a bit, see that it's blocked off ahead, and hear the caucaphonous din of firecracker strings. Chinese new years is a 5 day holiday. I think today is the last of the 5. Regardless, I stumbled across a huge Chinese parade. Bands, floats, gongs, brilliant costumes, firecrackers galore, lion dances, the works. It's great. These troops of gong-crashing girls, or the lion dancers, or other masked characters, would charge in and out of the local businesses along the route to chase out the spirits and bring in good fortune for the year ahead. What serendipity. I thought I was coming to check email.
Favourite road sign: "City limit. Produce speed".
Favourite town name: "Hua Wua".
If anything's going to get me on the roads here, it will be a stray dog darting out from the ditch or bushes. Not a day goes by that I don't see a couple of ex-pooches on the road.
Speaking of dogs, many of the wildlife lists for the forests and parks here include "barking deer". I think this is a Thai national joke and they are all in on it. I don't think there's such a thing as barking deer, but rather these are stray canines gone feral. I even bet the locals catch 'em and strap some fake antlers on them to complete the charade.
Lessons learned:
1. Thai people almost universally give very bad directions. It's much better to rely on maps and instinct.
2. Don't stand too close to firecracker strings. They throw off shrapnel that can hurt quite a bit when it hits.
3. If you place your Chinese style soup spoon upside down when resting it in the bowl, it won't slide down into the soup.
4. Opening your fly while riding helps you stay cool. (I learned this one by accident, but it could become a comforting habit on very hot days.)
Well I'll be damned... ... The new year festivities just hit this street. Right now there are about 20 young costumed girls coming through this Internet shop banging their gongs, and the firecrackers are starting up again outside. I'm out of here, like the ghosts, and back to the street. If I write again, it means I found Umphang and survived the Death Highway. See you back in Chiang Mai.